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Myself in Public

Traditions

Traditional

I often hear this when someone or a group within society do not agree with what some one or a group does.

How long is a period to be before it becomes traditional. In this modern era of individuality, and its associated rights, expectations, even demands, often it is as soon as more than one does it or has done it for a few weeks or months even. To some, as soon as they want to do it. Once the label traditional is attached, to many it is as if it has been since time immemorial, even re-writing history if need be.

Society is very good at using blinkered vision when it wants to apply tradition in debates as well as amongst other aspects of life. Tradition is often manipulated to suit those who use it to justify a particular aspect. For example many young women openly say it is tradition for women to wear male style clothing including trousers. This may be so in their young eyes as since the late 1980's such items have become an accepted item in all aspects of female life. Some of the older generation will say it is not traditional for men to wear skirts but they do not apply such "tradition" for the transformation of the female gender but this is extensively covered on the main aspect of this site.

Most traditions in the UK stem from around 1830's, the time mens attire was started to be set in stone under the modern label and stereotype. The UK monarchy may go back well over 1000 plus years but it is not the same as it was then, even at the end of the 1800's the basis on which the modern monarchy is built upon. Even the time line has been broken so it actually does not stem through a traditional bloodline. New bloodlines have been started several times. Lets look at a few other 'Traditions'

 

Contents

 

Mothers Day

Fathers Day

English Afternoon Tea

UK Bonfire Night

Christmas Trees, Cards and Carol Singing

Olympics, Olympic Torch

Traditional English Tudor Houses

Adoption of Male Surnames After Marriage

Lineage to the UK Throne - Male or Female

Male Cyclists in Lycra

Women before Men

Girl Guides and Scouts

Clothing at Wimbledon

Some Political & Religious Traditions

Generalised Conclusion

 

Mothers Day

For centuries it was a day when others went "a-mothering". For centuries it was a custom for others to return home to their mother church on the Laetare Sunday, the middle of Lent. It was a religious expectation. The day often turned into a family reunion when children who worked away, mostly domestic servants, could return home. A tradition of collecting flowers on the way to leave at their mother church took place.

It was an American activist, anna Jarvis (1864-1948) that lobbed her Government to have a day to honour mothers of the US. She became increasingly concerned with the commercialisation of the day as the years past, and stated "I wanted it to be a day of sentiment, not profit." She also didn't like the selling of flowers and the use of greetings cards which she described as "a poor excuse for the letter you are too lazy to write". 

Mothers day took off in the UK when a vicar's daughter Constance Smith, from Coddington, Northamptonshire was inspired by a 1913 newspaper report of Jarvis' campaign and began a push for the day to be officially marked in England. In the UK it is known as Mothering Sunday. She wrote a booklet The Revival of Mothering Sunday in 1920. Neither Jarvis or Smith became mothers. By 1938 Mothering Sunday had become a popular celebration with Boy Scouts, Girl Guides and various parishes across the UK marking the day and communities adopting imported traditions from American and Canada. By the 1950s it was being celebrated throughout the UK and businesses realised the commercial opportunities. In the UK Mothers Day is in March, but May in the US. France have theirs on the last Sunday of May but in Spain it is the 8th December but they also recognise the Virgin Mary.

Simnel cakes are associated with Mother’s Day. During Lent, people did not eat sweet foods, rich foods or meat. However, the fast was lifted slightly on Mothering Sunday and many people prepared a Simnel cake to eat with their family on this day. A Simnel cake is a light fruit cake covered with a layer of marzipan and with a layer of marzipan baked into the middle of the cake. Traditionally, Simnel cakes are decorated with 11 or 12 balls of marzipan, representing the 11 disciples and, sometimes, Jesus Christ. One legend says that the cake was named after Lambert Simnel who worked in the kitchens of Henry VII of England sometime around the year 1500.

 

Fathers Day

Fathers Day originated in the USA and has been officially celebrated there on the third Sunday in June since 1966. The exact origins of what we now know as Father’s Day are disputed, though we do know the movement for a day which celebrated fatherhood began roughly 100 years ago. Many believe that Sonora Dodd, from Washington, came up with the idea after hearing a Mother’s Day sermon in 1910 and wondering, not unreasonably, why fathers did not have their own day too. Dodd and her siblings had been raised by their father as a single parent after their mother died in childbirth. With the local YMCA and the Ministerial Association of Spokane, a city near where she was born, Dodd began a campaign to have the day officially recognised. The first such Fathers Day was held in Spokane in 1910, with a number of towns and cities across America later following suit. 

Others say it is Grace Golden Clayton, from Fairmont, West Virginia, who should be credited with the concept of Father’s Day, after she suggested a day celebrating fatherhood in 1908. She put forward the idea following a mine explosion in a nearby town which killed more than 360 men – arguing that children in the town needed a time to remember their fathers. Mrs Clayton may have been inspired by Anna Jarvis' work to establish Mother's Day only two months prior.

American Presidents unofficially supported the day and it was not until 1966 that it was put on the country’s official calendar by President Lyndon Johnson. In 1972 it was made a permanent national holiday by President Richard Nixon, though in the UK it does not enjoy this status. The move came after a campaign by a number of public figures, including Senator Margaret Chase Smith, who in 1957 wrote to congress: “Either we honour both our parents, mother and father, or let us desist from honouring either one. To single out just one of our two parents and omit the other is the most grievous insult imaginable.”

While in the UK fathers can expect, at best, a breakfast in bed and handmade card and, at worst, the day to be completely ignored, elsewhere the festival is done a little differently. In Germany it is called Vatertag (Father’s Day) but is also sometimes known as Männertag (or men’s day). In certain regions it is traditional for groups of men to go into the woods with a wagon of beer, wines and meats. Heavy drinking is common and, according to official statistics, traffic-related accidents spike on this day.

In China, Father’s Day used to be celebrated on 8 August as the Chinese for eight is “ba”, while a colloquial word for father is “ba-ba” – so the eighth day of the eighth month sounds similar to “daddy”. The day has since been moved to the third Sunday of June, in line with the UK and US. 

Now, the day exists simply to remind everyone that dads are great.

 

English Afternoon Tea

The drinking of Tea became quite popular with the English in the early 1800's especially with the aristocracy of the time. At the time only two meals a day were had. Breakfast and evening meal, the latter at 8pm at night. Anna Maria Russell (1783-1857), the 7th Duchess of Bedford of Woburn Abbey started to comment about feeling hungry in the afternoons and decided to add a small plate of food with her afternoon tea. Later she started to invite friends round to join her, and like everything else to become tradition it started to gain popularity with others and became known as Afternoon tea. This ultimately became High Tea and yes why most of us now have three main meals a day and not just two as once was.

 

UK Bonfire Night

This event does stem back to 5th November 1605 so it is well placed as a tradition. but is it?

On the 5th November 1605 Guy Fawkes lead a group of Catholics to blow up the Houses of Parliament at the time the King and Members of Parliament were in session. It was the culmination of around 70 years of civil unrest in Great Britain between the Catholics and Protestants. Great Britain use to be Catholic until Henry VIII created the Church of England - Protestants. Successive Kings/Queens and those that could manipulated power fluctuated between suppressing either Protestant or Catholic. Protestants often held the majority and power and have so ever since 1605.

Guy Fawkes and those of his group that survived (around half were shot) are by some these days labelled as terrorists. That word didn't exist back in 1605 but to those who follow the Protestant faith certainly viewed them as traitors but then many Catholics of the time would have looked upon them as saviours or the modern term freedom fighter. We digress, but Guy Fawkes and the remainder of his men were found guilty of treason and were executed by being burnt at the stake in January 1606.

Later that month Parliament passed the Thanksgiving Act making the 5th November a date to be noted by prayers and sermons, a celebration. There were no bonfires, no fireworks in that era. It was purely a religious ceremony. This ceremony waned over the passage of time and some then started to mark the 5th November with bell ringing then subsequently bonfires. It was an era of anarchy within many pockets of society so these events were still not the style and tradition of bonfire night that we this day see it as. To these people it was another symbol of rebellion, latching on to a date that the 'establishment' had set to mark.

As with virtually all traditions of our era, bonfire night as we know it didn't start until well into the Victorian era, and beyond. In the Victorian era society started to tell much more, with the by then firm establishment of industry after the Industrial Revolution. Such anarchy behaviour was frowned upon and dealt with. It was the Victorians who created Guy Fawkes Night on the 5th November. They re-established the original Act of Thanksgiving.

It was around the 1870's that communal activities became organised and controlled. I understand that it was in Lewes that the first official annual events of a formal bonfire event and celebrations took place and spread from there around the country. It was not until 1910 that fire works came onto the scene. By then firework manufacturers had the knowledge to create and manipulate such a device and they saw the advantage of creating more cash for themselves so they advertised fireworks for the 5th November celebrations. As society took this up, the 'penny for the guy' was created. to help raise local money for local firework displays, children were encouraged to design and make a 'guy' walk around with it shouting out 'penny for the guy'.

There we have the modern day tradition of bonfire night, which actually only stems as far back as 1910. Just how traditional is it? Some within society do still mark their bonfire night celebrations as mild forms of protest. Authorities do clamp down these days as to the early Victorians, so they are low key, pushing their statement but not over the law of the land. Since 2000 these 'mild' protests have increased in number more so since 2008 with modern day figures of authority as 'guys' with the economic and financial crash and the era of austerity that has resulted since, some 7 years on. Here we have yet another tradition but at the time of this article 17 years and 11 years respectively.

 

Christmas Trees, Cards and Carol Singing

The modern Christmas with the decorated tree, cards and carols is a Victoria invention. Cards came into being around 1840's when a businessman short of time to greet friends and family produced a greetings card for them to save time. Just like the English Afternoon Tea, it grew in popularity and became a tradition. The decorated Christams tree stems from Germany and came to the UK with the connections of Prince Albert. Carols. All modern carols and the quantity we have stem from the 1880's. In early 1800's there were only two carols and around 1770's only one carol. One of the two carols in the early 1800's was O Come All Ye Faithful, in a similar formatt that we have today. Previous versions in Latin bear no resemblance and stems from the 1300's. All carols introduced in the Victorian era were modified subsequently. Previously christmas based singing was all in Latin but the carols that we are all familiar with, format, tunes, verses etc are all 1880's onwards.

 

 

Olympics, Olympic Torch

For years in the run up to the Olympics you always here about the Olympics being a traditional event of some 2000 years going back to the ancient Olympians of Athens. The torch for each event is always lit by the Sun at the original Olympian Theatre in Greece.

There is a large gap in the Olympic time line of some 1400 years! The Olympics recently referred to as the modern Olympics did not start until the late 1800's and the modern Olympics are a completely different animal to that of the original. Also the Olympic flame in the stadium did not start until the early 1900's and with regards the Olympic torch relay, the 70 day journey from Greece to the stadium hosting the events did not start until 1936 and that was by Adolf Hitler! Anything attached to this person, and quite rightly so, is frowned upon by many in modern society, but not on this occasion. Hitler organised the complete human relay from Greece to Berlin, Germany in 1936 and it was a complete human chain. It has continued every four years since. These days it is not a complete human chain, utilising cars, buses and other forms to transport it around. Crossing seas and oceans has obviously got to be an exception, but once again tradition is being modified.

Society gets obsessed with these Olympic traditions and when discussed always leads you to believe it has gone on for thousands of years. It hasn't, its recent, less than 100 years including many of the hundreds of Olympic events held these days.

 

 

Traditional English Tudor Houses

Dating back to the Tudor period, not the modern day mock ones. To society the exisiting and surving properties which are some 400/500 years old are traditional. Actually they are not. The timber with wattel-and-daub infill are but the white colouring of the wattel-and-daub is not. The nice white paint that is always referrred to as traditional Tudor is actually a Victorian addition. Previous to the Victorian era the colour was natural, dull, dirty and a shabby appearance.

 

 

Adoption of Male Surnames After Marriage

The adoption of the male surname after marriage since the mid 1990's has wained from 94% then to around 54% in some surveys by 2014. Why, because under feminism it is seen as being inferior to men, and the woman loosing her own identity, individuality. To me it's freedom of choice on the couple if they take his surname, her maiden name, joining the two together or even her surname for the both of them. It doesn't change the person and it obviously isn't going to stop them having a life together. It's another example of yet another tradition that is being changed because it suits.

 

 

Lineage to the UK Throne - Male or Female

Within the royal family of the UK change took place in 2013 to end the tradition of the eldest male becoming heir to the throne ahead of his eldest sister. I go with that change in tradition which relects the modern era we are in with regards gender equality but this left another tradition unaltered that affects males. If the successor to the UK throne is a male, he becomes King and his partner Queen. Now if the heir to the UK throne is female she becomes Queen yet her partner has to be called Prince Consort, not King. Even to be called Prince Consort and not Prince still needs permission. This even applies to a Queen when a male heir has the throune but this is never inacted - a tradition abandoned because it suits. Why was this not amended if we are pursuing gender equality. 

Many other traditions within the Royal Family of the UK stem only from the victorian period. In the UK, the Victorian period (1819 - 1901) is considered as the foundation of modern UK life a period from which virtually all traditions of the UK stem from and since that period when many traditions when it suits are changed.

 

Male Cyclists in Lycra

Middle aged men in Lycra phrase seems to have died down now since it was frequently banded around after Bradly Wiggins won the 2012 Tour de France and the Olympics in the UK came and went. Society obviously has some thing else to get obsessed with.

The acronym MAMIL (middle aged men in Lycra), really annoyed me because I see just as many MAWIL's around! MIDDLE AGED WOMEN IN LYCRA.

As usual with Western Society, someone or an event is successful and hey presto, its all the rage, fashion etc, even a tradition, be it replicating hair styles, the activity or whatever. As at 2017, over the latter years the UK has done well within cycling on the sports circuit and sure enough as with everything else, the 'Lemmings' all start cycling. To be fair many have always cycled, and perhaps with the increase in population, inevitably the numbers who cycle because its basically within their genes will increase, but many do it because it is the flavour of the month now. Look at Andy Murray, when he finally won his first grand slam tournament in tennis and all of the sudden the media and commentators are pushing for tennis within Society.

As with all activities, technology develops. For cycling the reduction of wind resistance is of paramount therefore tight fitting clothing like Lycra is relevant but why does Society have to constantly single out men. I see just as many women cyclists as men. Just as many women joggers as men, and you know what, just as many in each gender wear Lycra especially in sport.

So why is it all we here about is MAMIL's? What about the MAWIL's. Perhaps because in modern society it is now traditional to single out men for comment or ridicule. It was in the past towards women by society but tradition has changed because it was finally accepted by the majority, unlike the previous minority, that it was wrong. I have to assume within human tradition, to wrongs make a right. Now that is an encouraging tradition.

 

Women before Men

The expectation of Women before men in disasters was not an expectation, let alone tradition before 1852! This tradition regularly raises its head under discussions of Feminism and gender equality in this modern era. Favouring one gender over the other is not acceptable, discrimination, under the arguments of Feminism/equality but only when it suits. Women before Men in disasters was mentioned frequently with the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic in 1912 and the Costa Concordia sinking in January 2012.

I am not going to comment on the Titanic. In 1912 society had completely different approaches, attitudes and beliefs. Women and men had specific roles, duties and expectations of each other. Even in dress codes. Whether you agree with that or not is irrelevant. That's how it was then and I do not believe in changing history to suit modern day interpretations and expectations.

These days, 2012, with the attitude of Society, feminism, individuals rights, individuals human rights etc I do not accept women and children first. We live in a world of equality, and equality comes with a price, and that is equal. In the days of Titanic we had real Ladies and Gentlemen and no blurring of genders to suit ones preferences only. The only exception to me are disabled and the infirm, to be fair to them not being 100% able bodied does put them at a disadvantage.

I do firmly believe that the Captains and staff of the plane or ship, should be the last to leave. They do have a responsibility to ensure that all passengers have been attended too. This applies to drivers of coaches and trains, Managers of cinemas, theatres, hotels and shops, Headteachers of schools etc. This applies equally to both male and female holders of position of responsibility.

Any one who disagrees with this should stop and ask are they from the era of Titanic or expect all the trappings of the equal world. There is no equal world if you retain set areas of favouritism but then not in other areas. A man or a woman are no superior over the other.

The expectation of women and children first only, came into being in 1852. HMS Birkenhead sank off Cape Town, South Africa, when the soldiers on the ship decided that all 20 women and children should go in the one and only life boat. Three quarters of the 623 men on board lost their lives. In 1912 three quarters of females and half of the children were saved, when only 1 in 5 of the men survived. I note that one or two men got into life boats dressed as women or even tried to bribe their way onto a life boat and these few were labelled as cowards. Is that really fair to think that in 2012? It is a natural human reaction to try and survive. Look at the 'cowards' of World War One who deserted from shell shock, a non-recognised illness at that time, but in our current era all World War One soldiers shot for cowardice have been pardoned - a bit late for them considering their lives were taken wrongly in the first place.

A lot of 'cherry picking' with equality is done these days and expected. I am all for equality but I do it fairly. What's good for the goose is good for the gander as they say. You want equality, that's fine but you take the responsibilities and the short comings as well. I'll hold the door open for any one, man, woman or child near by at the same time as me. In a queue those before me go first, man, woman or child. The only person that I will ever put before myself and that is my wife. Having said that we would probably both loose our places in the queue as my wife has the same belief towards me.

 

 

Girl Guides & Scouts

On 15th April 2011, BBC Breakfast did a short article about how for the first time in the Scout history female new entrants has outnumbered male entrants. Now that got me thinking. Tradition has changed again because it suits.

In 1976 the Scout Movement had to allow Girls to join. A traditional organisation dating back only to the early 1920's had to be changed to suit modern day requirements. Fine, as with all changes there is usually a good reason in the name of progress, inclusion etc. Yet the traditional Girl Guide movement, also dating back to the early 1900's did not have to change. Why, because some girls still need a girl only group, organisation etc. Boys that would still like that option was not allowed, period. Nothing unusual in this world with male activities and then the rules have to be changed to accommodate the revised life style within. Why is it then there are so many female only organisations allowed. I can understand why many men would not want to join these female only organisations by the activities that some do, the Womens Institute to name but one but is there a choice in the first place. Our local WI actually does a lot of things that would interest many men but again is there a choice in the first place.

Some traditions even changes to these traditions are not always healthy, let alone comply to this modern era of gender equality and inclusion.

I would like to see what would happen when any male entrants to these still female only organisations with the current traditional expected life style within those organisations.

The two guests on the BBC Breakfast sofa were female and full of their views for the Scouts. To answer one viewers observation about are we making too many 'tom boys in trousers' their reply was "why not. Go for it girls, wear those trousers and demand what you want". I could digress hear but will simply direct to my thoughts on the main topic of this site, Men in Skirts.

In the name of tradition and the need for traditions to be changed, even deleted and renewed, if females are to be allowed into the Scout Movement then why do we still need the Girl Guide Movement. Why are they not merged to form one movement called the Guide/Scout Organisation and start a new modern tradition as society does so often. If the Girl Guides are still needed to cater for those females who do not want to participate in what basically is a traditional male organisation or be amongst men then why is there no equivalent option for boys? From what I know the Girl Guides does similar things to the Scouts in any event these days.

I have no objection to a new tradition forming in certain places in society called unisex. I am and always have been a man who respects others, male or female provided I am respected back and not taken advantage of. I was not from the era of male dominance or part of the small group of 'dinosaur' men who still hold onto that past.

 

Clothing at Wimbledon

Now you couldn't expect me not to touch clothing as a tradition!

Clothing expectations has often raised it's head in the 80's and 90's by women even though Wimbledon since the conception of tennis as a tournament there has had a tradition of expecting clothing for both men and women. In 2013, Roger Federer had been told his orange soled Nike trainers do not conform to the predominantly all white dress code of Wimbledon.Click here for the Daily Telegraph article 26th June 2013. Here for the Huffington Post of the same date and there were many more similar links.

Now I'm all for rules to ensure standards, image, etc but a tradition is a tradition, be it directed at men or women. Wimbledon dress code is all white, allowing for odd colouring for sponsorship logos. Orange soles on Federer's Nike trainers were not allowed and one or two other players also fell foul of this but what about those bright red or blue or orange shorts that some women were wearing under their tennis skirts/dresses which were clearly on show and not just on the initial serves. These bright shorts are no different to bright soles of trainers.

It also happened in the sport of badminton. Female players had objected to being told to wear skirts when it has been a tradition to do so. The tradition was changed for them, and they now wear items similar to the men. There is a link on my site on this point. Traditions can be changed, even abandoned, at the end of the day it is just another label, expectation adopted by humans but it is questionable when it is selective.

Mens clothing generally is still based upon the early victorian style introduced by Beau Brammell around 1830, the only relaxation being in very casual private occassion wear. Womens wardrobe over the same period?

 

Some Political & Religious Traditions

I'll touch this area briefly. Many get quite 'hot' in this area just like traditions they want to claim.

The Catholic church is always talked about as being the Vatican City, as if it has always been its own state, as if the Catholic Church has always been as it is now. It isn't. Its bare religious beliefs may be original since the death of Christ but even those have been manipulated to suit its views with the progression of Society. St Peters Basilica dates from 1626 indicating an acceptable change, the Vatican City has only existed since 1929, before then it was simply a religion within one of the many regions making Italy. Yet Society talks as if this change never happened and give the perception that the Vatican City is a tradition spanning many centuries in to the millennia.

Here in the UK it is always the Church of England, and talked about as if it has always been. It hasn't, mid 1500's, previously the UK religion was only Catholic under the Catholic Church of Rome or the Vatican to satisfy those traditionalists. The UK traditional religion of Catholic, which by the way had only been for several hundred years only was changed due to and by authority to create a new with the view of that becoming a tradition, which it has.

Northern Ireland. That has only existed since the Unionists Convention of 1912 and the bill passed through Westminster in 1914. When you listen to the arguments about Northern Ireland you are led to believe that Northern Ireland has always been. It wasn't, it was one country, under the control of British politics but then that is another separate area of contention and not part of this article on traditions except that it is another example of past British manipulation of others because at the time it was considered the norm, traditional to do so.

The point is, we intelligent humans latch onto what others believe is theirs, correct etc and claim the phrase 'but it has always been like this' to justify it. It's like in September 2012 and the maths teacher Jeremy Forrest disappearing to France with a 15 year old pupil, Megan Stammers. A 15 year age gap, one year before the UK age of consent. In France they deem 15 as being correct not 16 - tradition and norm for them. I'm not going to debate the rights or wrongs of this matter but what interests me is that these days it is now considered traditional to give teenagers as soon as they go the Secondary School (although it is creeping into Primary) the status of independence, dressing and looking like mature young adults talking to Doctors without parental knowledge, expressing thoughts, opinions and emotions etc and generally putting teenagers on a pedestal as being young independent adults. As soon as that now traditional way of life goes to far for those who say teenagers should have this right they get upset. A 15 year old is not capable of making such voluntary decisions I have heard from both men and women when this current topic is discussed. Fine, but they can in the other examples above.

During and pre the 1980's a child was a child until 18 and treated as a child. Everything done with parental knowledge or direction. Under the description of norm, traditional nothing is said about late teenagers and early twenties women latching on to 'sugar daddies' or if they do critise the 'sugar daddy', like in the case of of this maths teacher and the pupil it is norm and traditional to blame the man and state child kidnapping yet not show any understanding that the girl/woman went voluntary because they both scummed to emotional feelings, feelings that many a teenage girl is considered normal to show in day to day life as an independent person. These norms and traditions of teenage independence is only since the 1990's, not really a time span to be called traditional. But many want it, many more say it is a right so once again it becomes traditional.

 

 

A Generalised Conclusion

The above are only a handful of hundreds of traditions from around the world that have changed.

Do many in society still behave traditionally as was expected when the past customs of behaviour became normal and traditional - no they don't because it suits them. Many of the expected customs haven't always been but developed as society progressed. A lot of these customs came into being as a civilised and democratic society had specific roles, functions and expectations of the two differing genders at that time from dress codes, working expectations, and leisure. At that time all in high society, the part of society that could call themselves Ladies and Gentlemen lived and worked by these then customs that they considered traditional. Yet again society's expectations changed and yet again these changes were backed up with the word traditionalism but it wasn't traditional, simply yet another change to reflect society of the time.

It is normal and traditional for a society to evolve, change and expect. Even equality, an equal voice and freedom of individual rights to behave and express themselves away from the societies norms. Society has evolved in all aspects over the 60 years since the start of the 1960's. It is totally different from the 1900's and keep looking back throughout human history, society completely changes, traditions come and go and why. It is called progress, development, enrichment of logic, knowledge and understanding. Traditions are simply another label that society hangs on to because society needs labels to function. But labels too evolve and change, they have throughout human history.

Tradition and normal is just like the old age saying with regards beauty. It is in the 'eyes of the be holder'.

You see, humans are highly intelligent species. We are the masters of nature, the world apparently (separate subject for discussion) yet we get obsessed over silly traditions that really are not traditions in the long term sense or even need to become obsessed with.

 

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